Wednesday, October 31, 2001

As you probably already know, Matthew's house burned down yesterday. Please visit the Matthew Rampy Relief Fund Page. He really could use some help and donations. Thanks, Ez

Smoking Delays Pregnancy.

(Come on gals, let's do it and smoke in bed!!!)
OLDER DOMESTIC 12 OZ. AMERICAN CANS

My Gawd. I should have kept the 914 cans of beer I threw out this morning. If I had a nickel for every beer I drank...
How did this ever happen to me?

I once saw you with another man,
but you glaced back at me.

I can still see the sparkling blue eye shadow,
as you turned to wink,
smiling devilishly.

From a crush
to lust.
From desire,
to passion.
From wanting,
to needing.

The echoes of every conversation ringing through the night.

Happy Halloween!

It's moving day for me today. I am sick and weary. I resisted packing all week, and now have almost nothing done. I packed 12 boxes last night and only managed to empty my desk and pack my books. Yuck!

Jeffe's house should be fun. I was telling him yesterday that I associate being at his house with making art. It seems like whenever I am at his place (mine now, weird huh?), we are either making HAMoTAM tracks or watching original video cuts. I expect that as soon as I am settled, I will be very productive on the hobby front. James and Cheryl (my new roommates) are nice, and luckily, everyone is chill.

I never expected to get my rent down to a level where I could save some money. It took four years, but I finally got a break on rent. Thanks, Jeffe. You are the best!

My new address: 1929 Page. The Great Depression. That's easy to remember. See you there. Z

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

Today, I thought of you.

Somehow,
even at 27
with a job,
good friends
and despite an understanding of responsibility
I want to run away with you.

We could curl up
under trees
on beaches
or in bed on Sunday,
pretending that we don’t need much,
just each other.

My sweatshirt
smells of you,
and your hair is in my drain.
Your lipstick marks
still on my T-shirt from when you fell asleep on my chest.

In the quiet early hours
I stare and reflect,
try to think,
but the pillows still smell of you,
and your body heat is in the bed.
The mattress not yet done yeilding to your impression.
Forgive my writing today. The rain is depressing. Zeal and spunk stayed in bed this morning. I am also feeling outdone by my counterparts, Beaky, Jeb, and Heather. They are extremely talented, as is the lovely and fabulous Katherinhand. I will go home tonight, read 75 books, memorize the dictionary, travel the world, dump and get dumped, fight and lose, yell and apologize, and mourn and weep. Maybe then have something interesting to say. But for today...blah. Pity me.
Mates of State: Upcoming Shows

Bottom of the Hill, 11/12.
Today, Matthew survived a fire at his house. When I heard the news, I left work early to check on him. I drove past the house (he had already left), and saw his housemates. They had longs looks on their faces, and it is rainy today, so the scene was very dreary. His housemates looked very fatigued as they stood staring at the huge pile of charred furnishings, clothes, books, and personal items. No one was hurt, which is the best anyone can say.

I was instantly reminded of the huge fire in the Oakland Hills years ago. I didn’t live in California at the time, but I have been to the Rockridge Bart Station where they have a memorial for the victims of the fire.

The Bart station has over 2,000 tiles painted by survivors of the fire. Some tiles have writing on them, other just pictures. There are tiles that say things like “For Molly, my dog. RIP 1991.” Others are crude drawings made by children…houses with flames…animals tipped over and dead…self portraits with tears. It’s quite touching and a bit unnerving.

Matthew only had a few things to begin with. Art, clothes, a bed with no frame, a desk, a few CDs. He is a true minimalist when it comes to possessions, but 90% the stuff he did have was priceless and is gone now. I am glad that he is fine and not in a state of shock.

The most amazing part of this whole event involves the good people that make up our community. Susan, one of the owners of our company, owns a building for traveling theater people. She offered a 2BR apartment for three weeks for free. She also started a collection list for people to help Matthew rebuild his life. He will probably end up with more stuff than he had before the fire.

Jeff and Matthew settled their dispute, and Jeff offered to put him up. Jeben offered art until Matthew can make new art for wherever he ends up. Jim gave clothes. Michelle gave hugs and food. Jennifer, Mat, Heather, Tara, and Adrienne sent their love and thoughts.

It is quite nice to see this type of behavior, especially in a city. I feel so alone in the city sometimes, and it’s nice to know that so many people are around that care. Bless them all. It is great to be alive today.
Dan the Automater has a new album coming out 11/6!!! I strongly encourage you to buy it. he's a badass through and through. It's called "LOVAGE MUSIC TO MAKE LOVE TO YOUR OLD LADY BY."

There are some MP3's under the above link, and also on his record label's site, called "75ARK"

Best news today.
The Breeders plan quick tour, early 2002 album release

Bill just saw The Breeders at Slim's in SF, and said is was pretty rocking.

Monday, October 29, 2001

Hafeez's Blazem defines cool. Come to think of it, Hafeez defies cool. On the home page click the left bar to enter. Also, hit reload on the home page to see colors change. Inside, you can get ecards, wallpaper, stories, etc. Damn, please make me a new site Hafeez!!!!

Damn. That kid is wicked.

What is theminister.net?

is that enough for you people?

PAVEMENT STUDIOS - Photography of Club Kids

Club kids in art photos. Cool! (Once you pick an image to view under this link, you can keep clicking the images to cycle through the gallery.)

PS. The Net has really liberated art. Tres Bien!

Hey, the Imperial Doughnut Guy hit me up!!!!

(It was a while back, but I like his work so read it.)
Today, I am very sad about the complex interpersonal tensions surrounding me.

People, please step back, look at yourself, and fix what is within your control (yourself).

If others choose not to change, do not change for them. Just change so that life does not bother you so much. It will all be better than. It takes two to tango... it takes two to make a thing go right... it takes two, babe, me and you.

Can you all do that for you? Thanks.
Taking Care of Business

Thanks to Harper for pointing out this less than friendly NY Times article about Dubya.

I too am extremely concerned about the wide reaching legal changes being made during this time of crisis. I understand preventitive measures, but I certainly hope that watch dog groups retaing their right to free speech.
Radio 4All

if you are curious about what I am considering getting into (Radio), you can read about it here.
We Need People, Not Propaganda, to Sell America to the World

a nice editorial about the media and war.
Program tests idea that black batterers need black therapy

This is an odd concept...and bound to be highly contraversial.
L O O M I T

some more cool graffiti and canvas stuff.
hifi art

some cool Sf graffiti art...(click front page image on their site to enter).
Free Radio Berkeley - Reclaiming the Airwaves with low power FM

I am about to buy a transmitter for broadcasting in the 94117 (Haight Ashbury District). Pray for me.
On a cold weekend night

Jennifer...
in a half dream,
I roll over expecting you.

And then,
fully awake
I am aware of our distance.

Back asleep,
my dreams turn warm again.
Staring deep into your eyes, elated.
Buzz: Anthrax Nation: Bioterror Bolsters Biotech

A nice peace on the biotech industry, and the companies that stand to benefit from government spending on biotech.
Ahhh Kevin, a true friend that understand's the Minister's appreciation of brewed beverages. Thanks! (via email)

First off, Portland is a beautiful city.
I forgot how nice it was (damn cold, but nice). Second, Gritty McDuff's is
still the best goddamn beer ever made. Saturday I had dinner at Gritty's.
I ate Sheppard's Pie made with Black Fly Stout, and a side of Gritty's
Chips; drank two Best Bitters and a Black Fly Stout. Picked up 2 22 oz.
Halloween Ales, and two 22 oz. Black Fly Stouts, went back to the Motel 6,
drank Gritty's while Schilling f$^%ked up the Yankees. It was religious.
The experience itched part of my soul that had
needed scratching for a long time. Gritty's tasted better than I
remembered.


Kevin

PS I brought a couple of Gritty's back to Mass with me and drank them last
night while Johnson f$%^ked up the Yankees. Sometimes the Universe can be
kind.


Amen, Kevin. Amen.

Sunday, October 28, 2001

On the lighter side of things, "What Should I Put on the Fence" is hilarious!
Please don't read this at work, but my site has been "pornolized." (I know...it's bad.)
It's Sunday night, and I found a bunch of European graffiti for y'all...but then, I found backlash!!!

So as I am reading the backlash, I see that the URL is www.built4war.com, and wonder, "what the heck is that"? Deisgners??! Very bizarre...

For Instance..."Klandestine"

and...Deadbydesign

But then, I found their Built4Design's mission statement, which is a tad bit aimless but very serious sounding .

Preshaa.com has a lot more art pics on it, and is less political.

Wow! Lots of cool stuff like this on lab404.com (click opening pic. (thanks for surfing the art world with me.)

Friday, October 26, 2001

Friday's "Pick Up Line Response..."

Guy: "You look familiar...do I know you from somewhwere?"

Girl "Yeah, I acted in a Tv ad for pepper spray"
Hey Mat, this guy knows how you feel about cars.
Barrage, take three

I am giddy,
dumbstruck
foolish
careless
fervent
and thrown by you.


My dreams
look like yours.
The yearning
and craving
content irrelevant,
passion paramount.


Love in Topeka
never sounded so good
The sexy plains...
A motel 6 love den.
The looks from locals
bringing us to giggle.


I am falling,
in slow motion
with the feathers
and papers thrown
by children from buildings.
Slowly watching, a dreamy smile.




Here is some more new writing (after the Gin and Tonic bomb fell on my head last night):

"Lost Stuff"
Police arrest cemetery suspect

Good. I am happy to hear that it's likely some stupid kid, rather than a group of Jewish American haters. It's actually comforting, which is yet another sign that everything is different now. I am appalled, for sure, but vadals are better than hate anyday.

Thursday, October 25, 2001

Carlos Batts, a Baltimore based photographer, is an ispiration. I just found some of his work and an interview on the Baltimore City Paper's site. The reason I am so inspired by Mr. Batts is that he is able to make art like this and still come home to face his parents. I believe that I will fail as an artist unless I cut loose and own up to whatever I make. Own up to it in front of my parents, my grandma, my parent's friends, my friends, my lovers, and my childern. Bravery breeds beauty. Courage is awe inspiring.

Here are some more Batts pics online.

Batts Gallery One

Batts Gallery Two

Batts Gallery Three

Word...
You know, when I met Harper, I found a true friend and a kind a gentle soul (which shee is and will always be), but I guess I don't associate her kind southern demeanor with angst. Fascinating. She has been going off lately...(and is quite good at it):

Take a look...
Happy Birthday, Mat! We have a little treat for you, puddin' . Enjoy.

ps...we are idiots. you will need QuickTime to play this. There is a mediaplayer fix in the works. Ezra
as defined...

I stick my tongue to frozen flag poles
And walk uphill into the wind
Feeling like I would do anything
to have you here,
at my side.


Suddenly, aggravation extracted
And news irrelevant
I only know my interior
And a burning desire to dote,
needing to keep you next to me.


I will go down with guns waving
Like some crazy border saloon drunk.
You will have to push me out,
My will is unbreakable
And the burn in my belly swells.


I am a statue too heavy to move
The picture of determination
A risk taker done hedging his bets
An aging barge that will not sink,
A raging river carving rocks in my path.



This Barry Bonds ball lawsuit stuff is downright stupid (or I had too much coffee today)! To bad we can't make editorialists into temporary judges (maybe honan???) when they have a good point...look at this.

When I first heard of Popov's lawsuit, the one that claims he deserves Bonds' record home run ball, I thought Popov was incredibly stupid and full of rancid hubris.

Well, I take back the ``incredibly stupid'' part. His lawsuit may have just won him the lottery.

Popov contends that as he stood on the walkway above right field at Pacific Bell Park, tracking Bonds' homer, he reached above a mob and caught the ball in a mitt. But then Popov was swarmed, and the ball was ripped from him before landing in the hands of another fan, Patrick Hayashi.

Tough luck, right? Nope. Popov contends it was a civil crime against humanity. Wednesday, a judge actually granted him an injunction. The judge's name is David Garcia. I believe he presides over the Court of Superior Sour Grapes.

Thanks to Garcia's injunction, Hayashi cannot sell the Bonds ball, which is worth an estimated million dollars. Instead, the ball will be locked inside a safe deposit box. The court will keep the keys -- at least until Nov. 13, when the case returns to court. Hayashi may then get to keep the ball, after all. Or maybe not. Lawyers are warming up in the bullpen. My only question: Is Johnnie Cochran a setup man or a closer?
Stanford University has studied the language of love, the language of Shakespeare and the language of computers. Now it's studying the language of Puff Daddy.

The world is melting...the world is melting...the academics think that "P-Diddy" iw orthy of studying? Ummm...didn't David Geffen write his lyrics, make his clothes, and buy him airtime on MTV? What about Grand Puba? EPMD? What about Queen Latifah? Stanford, you are now a charter member of loserville...

Just think, all these studious kids that have probabaly been all caught up listening to concertos and Phish are now exposed to black urban culture via P-Diddy. Outrageous!!! This has me steaming mad.

These are probabaly the same jackasses that brought us Bob Dylan 101. Paaalllleeeeaaasssseee!!!!!
Happy Birthday, el Honan Thanks for becoming such a good friend so quickly, for being honest, and for pushing me to write this confounded blog. You are a true inspiration. See you on Saturday for our already planned "new prefix to a sunday hangover."
Cripes! What the heck got into Pittsburgh today?

Police charge parents of girl killed by snake

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Back to the Nuclear Art stuff...

Here are some images of art focusing on the 50th anniversary of the nuking of Hiroshima.
Thanks to Matthew (aka Rampage), for Dub.com

"It may sound coy, but dub exists both as a science and a ritual, the rhythm above all else."
At home in Pittsburgh...

On Saturday, my Mom and I went to a show by the Associated Artists of Pittsburgh (no site up) featuring photos from the Greenpeace archive, and 75 other artists doing an exhibit called something like "Toxic Landscapes." The show struck a chord with me, as I am fascinated by landscapes and environmental issues. I spent quite a bit of time in college interviewing people in Western Pennsylvania that live near nuclear, coal, plastic, and other chemical plants. In addition, my mother paints landscapes with power plants as central figures.

Over the next week or two, I will be posting links to some of the artists that I saw at this exhibit. The first one is John Craig Freeman, and you can peep some of his stuff here and also here. (The second link was in the show via photography. He basically bought these billboards with Greenpeace and put art up because he wanted to bring art supporting environmental awareness to the people, instead of vice versa. The last billboard-not in the photo-says "commitment." as in "250,000 year commitment).
And so you say, don’t leave
(and I don’t want to)


Jenn
Jenny
Jennifer…
(Reminiscent of expanding ripples on a pond’s surface).

It’s in your lair
of cooking and affection
that I begin to feel alive again.

Melt inducing glossy lips
and sloping calves
with cigarette smoke
tracing your curves.

To make you sparkle,
is a compliment
and I did not know
that you could gain this from me.

In the morning, we are still.
I am all tangled up in limbs
not wanting to move or breathe (or cough)
foolishly worried to lose your warmth.

So you say, “don’t leave”
and I am not the only one
paying compliments in the early hours.
this is longing beyond sex and adoration.
(It is the feeling of coming home)

Eye lids shaded with blue,
blue of purity and depth
and sometimes purple,
your pastel tattoo suggesting trinkets
(and whimsy).

I fell into this, not knowing.
I awoke today, surprised that I can trust
and care again absent of assumption,
pessimism and angst stripped from my traits.

You are a friend, capable
of teaching without words.
And I feel that I can cry again.
And laugh without restraint or explanation,
caught up in your softness and the silence of the morning.


Jeben's new site called "Potentially..." is up on the Minister's network. He's a much better writer than I thought he was, and I already knew he was good. Check it out. We have a ton of design work to do, and if I were getting paid for it...it would already be done. Unfortunately, I sit here indebted to my paycheck writer, so be patient. More later.

Thanks to Jeben and all my friends for taking the time to get this little people's project off the ground. No one gets shit for it, so it's really a tribute to creativity and friendship. Peace to that.

Thursday, October 18, 2001

So, Mat had his car towed for having a Jolly Green Giant sized collection of parking tickets. This reminds me of the time I owned a Honda Civic and lived in Pittsburgh at the age of 19. My car's trunk, a hatchback, was covered with bumper stickers. I was living with my old friend Pat, and my girlfriend at the time, Jodi. We all shared the car with the understanding that we would share expenses as well.

I was already a ticket magnet out of sheer denial of no parking zones and a general shortage of money and change for meters. Having two other people use my car did not help the ticket situation. They didn't care for the meter maids and tickets either. It would have been somewhat manageable, except we all had a habit of harrasssing the meter maids when we were pissed. Since my car had 50 bumper stickers on it, the meter maids quickly learned to seek my car out and slap a ticket on my windsheild for fun.

So, months later, after we had replaced the carpet in my car with parking tickets, I got my first boot. Followed by another boot. Followed by a wonderful night with the impounder people. Bad evil nasty infuriatingly bad stuff.

$1500 dollars later, I got my car back. then, the clutch died. I sold it for $400 dollars to some kid I knew that need to get to KC to see his sick mother.

This is why I do not own a car.
Today, I remebered that I wanted to link some Charles Burchfield paintings on my site. His paintings hint at a combo of Van Gogh, Edward Hopper, and Psychedelic Fillmore Poster.

One of my favorites, "Sun Emerging" (click)

See more Burchfield at the Joceyln Art Museum (in Omaha) website ck)

Burchfield at the Smithsonian. (click)
Wow! I found a ton of great art on Billyblob...worth a look.
So, I had some people bail on plans to see DJ Shadow last night (stupid!!!). I decided to post an ad on Craigslist, and if someone entertained me...I was going to take them for free. Yeah, I know...I didn't pick any of them, and took friends instead. I even deleted one good response because I was feeling meek (grrr...). But anyway, here are some of the responses :

My Post:

What would you do for a DH Shadow Ticket?

Responses?:

Entitled "Why Not?"

" Hi,

You know, I'm at loose ends tonight and I'd like to
go out- why not? My name is Michelle, I'm recently
26, 5'5" 1/2, 105 lbs, black, short hair, resemble
Bambi. I'm a social worker who has had a long day that
needs to end soon. If you haven't found that random
someone yet, hit my cell (number erased). I will be sweet
and relentlessly charming, and will wear something
cute.
If you're on your way already, have a great time.

MM."
(I liked this one...especially the Bambi thing...)

Entitled "Re:Tickets" (She was the first person to write to me. I told her to tell me what her hobbies in a previous email, and di not reply after she said biking and people watching. I was going to take her, but a friend called at the last minute...):

Dear Ezra,

my mom found out i was talking to a guy in the 25-30
something year old range and she has taken away my
computer privileges! Rest assured, I am still
available for the show this evening.

ok, i really want to go so call me, and i can return
the favor with a stereolab ticket for monday, (if
you'd like). just that none of my friends saw the
value of tonight's show except for me....(408) - yes i
live in san jose...(number erased)."

FYI, she isn't that young...just funny.
Here is the list of the FBI's 22 Most Wanted Terrorists.....

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

It's on now FreeDirt.........you just wait.
America, the beautiful..... My oh My click that.......

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Allright.............the heavy hitters have arrived! FreeDirt Media is on the web!!!!!!!!!!!!! FreeDirt Media consists of my buddies Paco and Doug, plus some other cats I am sure I have met at parties before. Check it out, per my total and unyeilding plea.

Monday, October 15, 2001

This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my father. Basically, we fought because I got a bunch of emails from my family about the war. The emails bothered me, and it turned into a big mess between my Dad and I. It’s hard to summarize my feelings about war, but this is sort of where I am at. Forgive the parts that seem like non-sequitors…I had to edit the letter hastily. And yes, I know that it is pro war at times, but I am still sorting it all out. That's what propaganda does to us...


I consider myself deeply patriotic, and take great pride in my membership to what I consider the greatest country on earth. As a student of history, a US citizen, a humanitarian, and a believer in freedom and liberty, the terrorist attacks bother me immensely. I am confused by the events, stunned with disbelief. My message for you today was blurred by my inability to separate two issues on my mind: the attack and other subsequent world events, and my own family's pursuit of justice and retribution for these terrible attacks. On the subject of the attacks on America, I am saddened to by the fundamental truth that life as we previously knew it will never be again. This event has scarred the world permanently. I am a huge believer in optimism and positivity, and have long believed that WWII was the last great war the earth would see. I was confident that humanity worldwide had progressed to a point where there was no justification for mass destruction and the loss of innocent life. I can see now that my views were entirely too rosy, yet I still hold out hope for a more peaceful time and place for all. Unfortunately, humanity has not progressed to the point where our greatest trait, our conscience, has extinguished our animalistic behavior. It is still a matter of being on top or the bottom, and if Darwin is in fact correct (which I believe he is), you do not want to be on the bottom. In addition to the loss of innocent life, this is why I support US retaliation against terrorist groups and the perpetrators of the attacks on NYC, DC, and Pennsylvania. As Americans, we must continue to fight for liberty, freedom, safety, and ideals, as these are the elements that define our country and make it great. There is only one right action to take: bring justice. To summarize my views on the matter, I am completely in support of the US Government's actions and would most certainly vote for more military and intelligence spending if given the opportunity. There is no other way to protect the American ideal of life and defend our country. My hope is that justice is swift and that more innocent lives are not lost in the process. I am, however, aware that lives are often lost when fighting for a great cause. This is justifiable under the assumption that the great cause will ultimately benefit and protect larger numbers of people. It is a short-term sacrifice for a long term good. I support this, especially when fighting against people that made a decision to attack my way of life and my liberty and freedom. They have already taken those things from me, as I now fear the skies, the water the sirens, and more bad news. It is a sad day in America when we don't feel safe and confident in our right to live and think in safety while pursuing a good life as honest and caring people. I hope that justice is swift, as I do not wish to see generations of Americans fighting a war against an ever-changing enemy that has no qualms about killing innocent people (a Vietnam Vet cabbie said “You can’t kill and idea…”). I fear that it will be a long war, and I am petrified at the thought of losing my family an friends to a noble cause that was formerly our reality, but was taken away by terrorists. This is I what I mean when I call for prudence and care in this war. I hope you understand my statements as a call for peace and life, rather than as unpatriotic attempt to justify attacks. We have to attack in this instance, even in the pursuit of peace and good. No question.
My second issue is a bit more complex as it involves family. I called you this morning to say hello, as I need the sound of my family’s voice to get me through. I am alone in California, away from my family and rootless. I have my friends, and we share a love for each other that serves as my support group. But family is the ultimate so email sometimes just doesn’t cut it and I need to call and hear my own flesh and blood's voice. I also called to talk to you about world events, which I already discussed. The final intent of my call was to discuss my dismay at some people that have been forwarding emails that I consider to be irrational, deplorable, and absent of good reason. I would go so far as to call the content un-American. I find the image of Uncle Sam with his middle finger up highly offensive, as it is an image that I associate with the American pursuit of liberty, safety, freedom, and justice. I do not think that pure hostility and aggression is the American ideal and to see a doctored image of an American symbol making a lewd gesture offended my sensibilities. I already discussed this in my statement about positively and progression. I hope that Americans can rise above the type of thinking that led to the attack on America. Unbridled hostility and a witch hunt type of thinking are traits of the beast; the animalistic desire to kill, dominate, and conquer cannot and will never be productive. The ideal of freedom and liberty has nothing to do with aggression. Retaliation is justified aggression, which I DO support when it is in pursuit of justice and what is right. I have been dismayed the past few days every time I check my email and get one of these misguided and thoughtless emails. When the messages come from family, I am even more dismayed. I hold out hope that Americans will ultimately seek justice and peace. I also hold out hope that we will not deteriorate into a society driven by hate. When I see these emails, I get upset but they can also be attributed to a reasoning process. No one knows quite what to think, and we all make mistakes. This is why I wrote to the many people on the email distribution lists once I had the facts from the company (my note: reference to an email stating that Americans should boycott National Wholesale Liquidators because the owner was allegedly there and laughed at the attacks –proven false). I condemned hate and encouraged people to work for peace and justice. Know the facts, use the facts...don’t hate.
Confusion, haste, anger, and fear are whittling away at the world's soul, and I do not want to be a part of it. Please know that I refuse to allow the division of father and son in our family and see no reason to extend the world’s disarray into my own family. God bless and Godspeed our return to sanity, safety, freedom, justice.
All credits to Mat Honan for finding this one...(and the folks at salon and modern world)

Here is what my Dad and I fight about (the principle...we don't actually have this same conversation...but still).
I am so damn angry and irritated today. Over the past six days, I have argued with my roommate, my close friend, two guys in two bars over two nights (I said "There's a simple solution, guy...'shut the f$%k up..."), and today...more friends. Just sad and depressing...the stars are whacked.

What the hell is wrong with me? I call it a "fisherman's temper," because I am usually a rock, steady and calm, but then...bang! Short fuses only serve to hurt the fireworks handler. Lesson learned, DNA not changed (you can't win them all).

Will I watch as the world melts? Will I run to Canada? Do I have a choice?

Matthew and Belle are getting their exit plans ready. The Mat and Harper show like Thailand. Here I am, just trying to set down roots and quit running. The ledger:

Oxford, NJ (1 house)
Sturbridge, NJ (1 house)
Hillsboro, NJ (1 condo)
Piscataway, NJ (1 house)
Plainfield, NJ (1 house)
White House Station, NJ (1 house)
Pittsburgh, PA (1 house and 3 apartments)
Chester, NJ (1 house)
Waterville, ME (dorms)
London, England (1 apartment)
Boston, MA (1 apartment)
Oakland, CA (1 apartment)
San Francisco, CA (2 apartments…the third coming 11/1)...

So, after a huge party night on Halloween, I will wake up in a new home (Jeff's), and do it all again. Arrange the plants and books, throw away clothes and papers, laugh at my photos from 13 (back under the bed for another year), miss the girls in the pictures and their innocence and cute dimples. I will sleep poorly, because I don't know the smells and hate to move into a place where I get up last.

So, I will probabaly watch when and if it all melts. I am tired. These are my people and I won't run.
I am going home. On Friday, I get on a plane to go back to Pittsburgh for my Mom's art show. Actually her show is in Harrisburg, but I am stopping off in my hood first. I can't wait, except for my stupid fear of planes. Anyway, here's mom's art (they are huge jpeg's, but the detail is worth it).

She's excited. Keep in mind that she is painting workers. This is one segment of here work.

(Click these...)

JPEG1
JPEG2

Friday, October 12, 2001

If there is one thing the NY Post is good at, it's cover art. Here is a flash video celebrating 200 years of the NY post, as well as a photo archive covering the paper's history.

And, oh yeah....hey Yankees....later!!!

Thursday, October 11, 2001

I am really scared about the baseball playoffs and the potential for terrorism at these events (among 1,000 other concerns). The FBI warnings about potential attacks have me on edge. Jeff has to fly to NC tonight for a family reunion, and I have to go to Pittsburgh next week. I pray we will all be ok.

I thought that the resumption of baseball games a few weeks ago marked (albeit in a small way) a symbolic return to some safety and freedom. I know that a lot is on going on right now that affects our freedoms (monitoring, bag checks, anthrax scares, etc.), and I am all for a loss of individual privacy -within limits- if I am safe at the end of the day. That said, I am quite worried about the baseball playoffs and the potential effect of terror on the fabric of our society.

Baseball is peace for me. It is afternoon Cubs games, it is Yankee domination, it is the A's as favorites when they have a payroll 1/3 of the Yankees, and it is a game of merit without the pressure of time. I almost cried at lunch today when I saw a MLB advertisement with a player running across the outfield with our flag (was it Sammy Sosa?). It reminded me somewhat of the Rick Monday incident with the American Flag in the 1970's (click here for editorial and story). I did not see the Rick Monday event, as I was two…but it is touching to watch on tape and read about.

I don't quite know how to express myself on this issue, but I personally need baseball to feel like America is the great place I imagine it to be. It is our history, and our pride. It is our national pastime. And, for me...it is what contributes to me feeling like I live in a community. I can chat with total strangers knowing that we share a love of baseball. Even in this town, the Giants fans put up with me constantly blasting the Giants as losers. Baseball is critical to America, especially now, as it helps neighbors bond, and also helps us to find a few moments of peace and joy while we are at war. I hope that nothing horrible happens, as baseball is as much of an American symbol as the WTC towers were.
I have the deepest appreciation for my dear friend Heather Moylan. Not only is she honest, friendly, true to her word, and loyal, but she actually took me up on my offer to make her a webpage so she could write columns for me. Her first post went up today. Thanks so much, Heather.

PS> I'll stop linking my own constantly. I know it's annoying, but i am amazed by the fact that my friends want to participate and I am also amazed that i can make a website. As for Heather, please email her with some kind words...she loves support.
Give the people what they want:

The " I Love Lydia Story":

At age 13, life consisted of adjusting to a new city (Pittsburgh), after moving from NJ with my mother. I was heavily into skateboarding, and spent quite a bit of time hanging out in the Squirrel Hill section of the city.

My friends and I hung out at a Wendy's in the biz district, which was the "seen and be seen" spot for young kids. Don't ask why, but I miss seeing that Wendy's when I go home. It is now a Boston Chicken, which I think is now owned by McDonald's, but who cares. Anyway, we would chill out at Wendy's and flirt, flick fries, fight with kids from the next neighborhood, cut class, and generally get in trouble until the cops kicked us out. We even used the elevator phone in the office building next to make calls until they got huge phone bills and figured out that it had no call limiter on it.

Scene Set.

So, there was this really tall girl named Lydia, who was pretty and kind. She had a pot head brother, and I knew him as well. She was a nice lass... the daughter of eastern Europeans that worked as pharmacists. She later did the same after pharmacy school (I think). Anyway, I had this huge crush on her and all her friends. She was the least prissy and was kind of awkward due to her size at a young age. I like awkward girls, so I guess I liked her the best (plus, I though I had a chance so...)

One time, my friend Karlin had a sort of slumber party that I was invited to, but wasn't allowed to go to (according to mom). So, I slipped out of the house at 1am or so, and walked the few blocks to Karlin's house. I was really excited about the whole affair: sneaking around, girls, slumber, etc. I got there and Lydia was hanging out, so we chatted for a bit. At the end of the night, when everyone hooks up with his or her crushes, she and I ended up together. Since we were thirteen, it really wasn't much. Basically, we spooned on the couch and fell asleep until 4 or 5am when I had to run home and get back into bed to avoid penalty.

This whole spoon thing at a young age was such an overwhelming feeling. I had kissed girls and done the second base thing, of course, but sleeping out on a couch with women from school was way cool. Almost too cool. So much more mature than kissing, I guess.

As a side note before I finish the story, you should know that fashion at the time dictated that everyone wore Chuck Taylor All-stars. There was room for individuality, but it was limited to wearing two different colored Chucks (one red, one blue…), or writing on them, or bleaching them to look like tie-dyed fabric. I think that every pair I had, save maybe one, was black. My take on the fashion was to write stupid stuff like the Dead Kennedy's logo on the white part of the toe, or other stupid stuff like anarchy symbols.

After the slumber party, Lydia and I didn't see each other for a while. I was still caught up in the teen-age crush thing, and did something really stupid that I will never forget. I wrote "I Love Lydia" in big green marker on my shoes. I went to the Wendy's to meet some friends and take part in our usual dose of nothing. However, when I got there...Lydia's friends were hanging out. Guess what they saw? "I love Lydia" right on my shoes. Then Lydia walked in. She blushed, I blushed and aside from laughs and extreme discomfort, nothing really ever cam of it. Well, except the weeks of whispered jokes from her friends... and a week when I spent an hour or so every morning looking in the mirror and hating the idea of showing my face at school.

But there is no way I will ever forget the embarrassment. It was a defining moment for me, and it might be the first time I learned the lesson "Don't write anything down that you don't want people to read". (Especially not on your shoes!!!)
From maciej,

"the orange is a very nice shade.. i like the movie bill idea.. check out
the board graphics at www.zooyork.com, they have a series of boards called
the 42nd st. series that has porno styled movie posters.. perhaps
inspirational.."

(It is...the porn skate boards are dope!)

Ok Peeps,

My page will soon be moving to www.theminister.net . I am excited to get some people writing blogs off my site, so if anyone wants to do it, just email me.

As a side note, I will email everyone once the design work is completed. It is hard for me, because I have never designed any web items before. I hope to get it all figured out, make some stickers, and do a big release.

"Where I was raised, if you wanted to be successful, you found someone else
who was successful and followed their lead. I followed Tony Gwynn from the
start. I followed him to McDonald's. I followed him to Burger King. I
followed him ..."

-- John Kruk on one of his first teammates in pro ball and a kindred spirit. (Thanks Kevin)

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

Hey Kids,

the minister is going to be very busy for a few days getting www.theminister.net up. hang tight for posts. also, here is a big COMING SOON notice:

COMING SOON: HEATHER MOYLAN'S "LAUREN TEWES FAN CLUB PAGE!" (oh, just wait...you won't believe this one)
thanks.

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Ahhh...here is some more evidence that our President is actively using his self proclaimed "propaganda" strategy to win the war:

SF Gate Headline :Hollywood think tank creating scenarios to help Army prepare for possible terrorist attacks."

My favorite line:

The military has a long history of working with filmmakers, said Michael Macedonia, chief scientist for the Army's Simulation, Training and Instrumentation Command, based in Orlando, Fla.

"You're talking (about) screenwriters and producers, that's one of the things that they're paid to do every day -- speculate," he said. "These are very brilliant, creative people. They can come up with fascinating insights very quickly


Welll, maybe I should be happy about this right? They are meeting to help create simulations of terrorism, and not PROPAGANDA FILMS? Hey, wait a minute....did I miss something (PS. Don't read between the lines. You are just being suspicious).
Hmm...GHB and the Raiders' kicker...at Sno Drift no less. (From the Sf Chronicle)
Well, here is an article on more Bush Sr. ties to Bin Laden Operations (see CIA training in late 80's for initial ties):

http://www.judicialwatch.org/press_release.asp?pr_id=1624
Jeff Saunders, in response to my post about the Graffiti article in yesterdays Post Gazette:

To The Post Gazette:

"Councilman wants to prohibit minors from buying graffiti tools"


This is the most ludicrous thing I have ever read. America is becoming the
"Land of the Unfree." Not only in Pittsburgh but all over the US. Why must
we panic. It is inexcusable to even suggest minors will be prohibited from
buying art supplies. Are we going to label artists as "threats" again in
this new century just as we did Hollywood after WWII? Wake up America.



Monday, October 08, 2001

I despise tagging, the act of writing your name with marker on everything in sight. However, I do like graffiti as it is the art of the urban landscape. Writing your name on things with a marker is just another lame extensions of the days when people carved "wuz here" and "a loves b..." on trees and picnic tables with pocket knives.

It upsets me when politicos and police group tagging with mural art and graffiti. The urban landscape is dominated by steel, brick, cement, and grass. The colors that are left on the urban landscape mostly come from billboards, autos, individual homes, people's clothing, and the few trees that have survived the cementing of America. That said, I think that murals and graffiti do a lot to beautify the urban landscape.

It get really upset when I see politicians resort to child like tactics to prevent graffiti writing. In today's Pittsburgh Post Gazette, there is an article about Pittsburgh City Councilman, Gene Ricciardi, plan to "introduce a bill that would prohibit minors from buying or possessing graffiti-making materials and tools." This idea is downright ridiculous. After all, politicians are the ones that cut art funding from schools, and also have the power to provide the public with formus for open expression. What about community walls for public art, etc? Why can't they add these types of space to the landscape in an effort to help beautify the community and provide artists with space to work?

Here is the article discussing Mr. Ricciardi's idiotic idea. Not only is it unconstitutional to prevent minors from buying art supplies, it is completly absent of the notion that if your are going to criticize, provide a better idea.

My favorite quote from the article "The artist, or possibly a group of people, has spray painted "Mook" at the top of the 10th Street Bridge, under a Parkway East overpass and on other places that are frustratingly out of reach for crews trying to clean off the scribbles."

Are you kidding? How in the hell did the tagger get up there to scribble his name? Does he have wings that city workers don't have?

Saturday, October 06, 2001

Heather Moylan, my friend, agreed to write a column for me on my up and coming sight: theminister.net. Last night, she admitted to searching my sight for "Heather," and was upset with me (in a joking way) for not having her name in my posts. Well, Heather: here you go....


Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather Heather

(Hey Moylan, Hit control F...)

Friday, October 05, 2001

Harry Moss, a guy I know from Murio's, just emailed me his new novel "Windows for Remy." I think he said it is about a WWII pilot. You can also read some of his stories on Net Novels. He also has his comic book that he wrote with ANT (the illustrator that draws all the kooky art for the ceiling at Murio's)called Haight Street Stories on the Haight Street.com website. Harry is a cool guy, and really works hard to get his writing out, which I admire. Plus, he's a good pool player. I'll let you know what I think of his book. He has been published in 300 or so publications ranging from the Boston Globe to Thrasher.
Yeah! In a few days, I will be an ordianed minister of the Universal Life Church in Modesto, California. Fitting for the minister of brewed beverages, no doubt. You can do it too........www.ulc.net
Jeez, nothing like a bunch of chopper swooping Krispy kreme eating cops to blow my faith in the police. Look at this silly story.........
Coming soon.........

www.theminister.net

it doesn't work yet, but give me a week and I will email everyone to let you know that it is up. I got 100mb of server space so there will be many maNY MANY videos and tunes for your enjoyment. Yeah! My own site!!!
From Craig in Pittsburgh:

Groovetech.com

"kick ass 24-7 live dj's spinning...with web cam video...damn cool!"

From Hafeez in NYC (he just bought a guitar):
"My new motto is
'Born to fuck, forced to rock!'"

Thursday, October 04, 2001

Please people, stay inside. Mr. Bigglesworth is on the loose again (and he's 45lbs.!!!)
Cool, Cool, Cool! I love poster art, and I found a great article about Chris Coop on Addict.com
" I want my divorce woman...
People say we look too much alike..."

From the ultimate bad ass blues song, Kinfolk Blues by Muddy Waters. (Click song title to download). Just do it!!!!!!!!!
Dear God, please help me pull in the reigns! I am whipped on Christina Onassis!

Speaking of stupid crushes...I am totally TOTALLY whipped on the Citrus Club hostess on Haight Street. My oh my...she looks like the birth child of Patricia Arquette and Bjork. Last night, I went to the Citrus Club with my friends Jeff and Michelle, and I was so giddy when I saw her, I could barely talk. God, she has this black tangled hair that flops all over the place. Plus, she has dimples and this peppy, sparky, coy, up-to-no-good look that gets me down to the core. I haven't been this hung up in long time.

Here's the problem: I only see her when she is working. I hardly think it's appropriate to lay the cheese on her while she is busy, so I need to find a way to talk to her outside of work. Maybe I'll get lucky and see her at a party or something.

I don't want to approach her now, beacuse my dating life just sucks. On top of that, I envision this girl as a maybe grilfriend and not just a casual fling. I really need to hold my cards here and not blow it. I was on a good streak for a while where I had all the confidence in the world and managed to get lucky pretty regularly. Now I am stuck in full blown flail mode. Just look at the evidence: Suzy the Pool Girl (stood me up), Michey the Saatchi girl (stupid Marina type boyfriend), and a host of other bad moves that must be edited from this conversation. Even the "Used Car Lot," AKA the "been there, done that bin," is empty.

I find myself wanting to do really stupid things to get the Citrus Club Girl's attention. Poetry, absolute fawning ala the knight and the tower myth, sending flowers, writing a song...you name it. These are all ridiculously stupid ideas, so I will just wait until my luck turns before puring it on. Maybe next month.

Citrus Club Girl
Her name is Bjork Arquette
Citrus Club Girl
Can I get you....(edit).
Frankie Gavin, my cousin that is on the NYPD along with his sister (they have been working at the WTC site), heads to Kuwait as a Marine reserve tomorrow. Please say a prayer for him. Thanks
Rock On! I just heard from my cousin, Denise Quinn, after 9 years of having no idea where she is. There was a big family fiasco (not worth discussing) when I was 19 that created huge tensions in my family. The net result was that my Dad and my cousin’s mom (his sister) don’t speak anymore. Unfortunately, Denise and I were in the mix despite having no problem with one another. Stupid stuff, but thankfully she found me via an uncle’s mass email.

My memories of Denise are pleasant ones. When I was young, she was the best. She took me to Great Adventure in NJ pretty frequently, and looked out for me like a big sister. I will never forget that.

One time, we went to see the NY Jets play on a frickin’ cold ass day at the Meadowlands. She had this old beater of a BMW, and after the game we broke down in the middle of a massive amount of traffic. It was bumper to bumper, and as I remember it, the car started smoking. I think I was 12. She was all freaked out and had me drive while she tried to get some help. This may be a distorted memory, but you get the drift.

So the car is smoking, I am driving, and Denise is trying to get us out of there. I can’t remember if we drove or got a lift, but we eventually went to a gas station near the stadium. I remember this guy who had a flask and we hung out in his car while they boozed to keep warm. She was young and pretty, maybe 20 something, so the free booze rolled her way…even in the gas station parking lot. (Ok Denny, time to beat me up for the honest story).

Anyway, we finally made it home, but this is my just one of my fond memories of Denise. I could not be happier to reconnect. Blood is thicker than water every time.
"Find the terrorist," a game from the SF Chronicle.

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

For the record, HAMoTAM's new release called "We Control the Volume" is out. Damn, those guys rock!
This from the Casco Bay Weekley (Maine):

"Please don’t eat at McDonald’s. It’s bad for you in more ways than one.

During the week in mid-September I worked at the restaurant, I witnessed many displays of stomach-turning behavior. I watched workers remove their hats, wipe sweat from their brow, then immediately handle food. Countless times, I observed employees scratch and pick at body parts and then touch sandwiches bound for the mouths of customers.

The food prep area was a mess. Several sections of the stainless-steel kitchen were coated with layers of dust and grease. The use of soiled rags to wipe down countertops was standard. The containers holding cheese, onions and other condiments would benefit from more frequent cleanings. And houseflies felt quite at home buzzing and landing around the kitchen.

Let’s talk about the food. All the animal products come into the restaurant frozen. In theory, they would stay that way until cooked, but in every product line — from meat to chicken to fish filets — I found food in various states of thawing. And freezer-burned victuals were commonplace....(click text for full story).


Tuesday, October 02, 2001

Sorry, roommates....I found the apartment of my dreams.
Not too long ago, I asked this girl out at Murio's on Haight Street. Well, she stood me up...which is fine. It was the first time I have been stood up, so I was amused rather than upset (especially once the Gin and Tonics set in). As a joke and a sly jab at her, I posted a quick note on criagslist (click to read). Anyway, it set off a big thread of responses, including some from Suzy herself. You can read all of the posts here. (Search for "Suzy" and "Pool Girl to see posts").

FYI, I wrote to her and asked her out again. What the hell , right?

The Pittsburgh Post Gazette has a great article in today's paper about theater and music programs in state prisons. Sunday's paper had the first part of the series which focused on writing and visual arts. The author, Tim Menees, spent time in NY, CA, and PA prisons examining their arts programs. This is really fascinating. I had no idea that you could learn to be a videographer, actor, and musician in jail.

I think that prison should be harsh so as to deter future crimes. However, there is a lot of merit to the idea of training prisioners to make art, theater, and music as it provides skill training and a hobby to occupy time after release. Better to have music and art than guns and drugs.
Tim and Beth, my friends and clients from a studio called Soundtrax-NC, have a new site called Tech23 with their music on it. They are working on an updated site, but they have some excerpts of their music tracks posted in MP3 format.

Monday, October 01, 2001

Sex is like money; only too much is enough--John Updike
In one of G.W.'s recent speeches addressing the attack on America, he mentioned using a variety of methods to eliminate terrorist groups. Bush has stated his intent to use propaganda as a tool to fight terrorists:

The administration has given other indications that a major military campaign will not be part of the opening phase in what Bush says will be a long war against international terrorists. Bush has repeatedly spoken of a multipronged assault, using military, diplomatic, police, financial and propaganda tools. (Source: SF Chronicle).

Bush's reference to the use of propaganda tactics surprised me. I find it unusual to annouce the use of propaganda as a tool, especially since it will undoubtably make people suspicious of government activity.

I did a quick Google search for propaganda, and found some interesting links to check out:

Chinese Propaganda Poster Collection

WWI Poster Collection

WWII Poster Collection

"Propaganda, American Style" by Noam Chomsky

It is important for me to note that I do not support the content and philosophies of these posters and sites, but do feel that it is important to understand the current events and government activities withing the context of history. I have spent considerable time researching propaganda throughout history, and think that it is important to understand the principals of social control and the methods used to sway public opinion, especially now when the government has stated its intent to use such tools in conducting the war.
Did you check out this week's SF Bay Guardian? There is an interview with The Coup, the band that had an album set to come out with cover art featuring the WTC exploding. Weird...
If you don't know, now you know.... HAMoTAM is the band from party town!
"The only time the trickle down theory works is in a urinal."

---Dear Mr. Reagan
Roadsidepeek.com is right up your alley if you like to look at pictures of the American landscape. The site features Orange Country Neon Motels, Bowling Alleys across America, and Bob's Big Boy photos among other tasty items. (I perma-linked this site...it's that cool).
I am the peacemaker
I'm right and you are wrong
I am the peacemaker
You are wrong, that is all

~From Naked Raygun's "Peacemaker" off their 1986 Album "All Rise"
Ok kids, listen up! It's time for another round of the Real World and Road Rules on MTV, and auditions are on now. Friday, October 5th, is the deadline for applications. Here are the FAQ's about audition tapes (My favorite advice? "Don't cut off your head"), . and all the info you need to apply